but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
