she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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