Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
