Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
