She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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