Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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