i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
