ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
