I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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