How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
