They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
