Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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