I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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