he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
