I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
