I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
