She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
