Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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