No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
