The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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