The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
