I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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