I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How's work?
Spinning.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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