giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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