He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
