): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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