I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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