We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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