It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
