Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
