They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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