whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
