We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
