how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
