there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
