her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
