i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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