eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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