Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
