NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
