I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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