Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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