Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
