Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
