I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
