Small penises have feelings too.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
