i just google imaged poop.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
