Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
