Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
