Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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