What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
and you fell through a lawn chair
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
