i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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