If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
