rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
only if we run a train.
done.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
